Here’s a reminder from Marketing 101. If we want to recruit people to join our side, it is probably not the best tactic to say, “We are so completely screwed. It’s hopeless. Everything is going to hell in a handbasket. Join our cause!”
“The people on our side don’t vote, but the Trumpies sure do.” Translation: we’re going to lose, but please vote anyway.
I am trying to teach myself a new habit: check such words before they sail out on auto-despair. “Join our cause! It’s hopeless!”
Along similar lines, per the book Nudge by Richard H. Thaler and Cass R. Sunstein, “If you would like to increase turnout, please do not lament the large numbers of people who fail to vote.”
Instead: “It looks like millions of pro-choice voters are going to turn out in November.” “A lot of people seem to be changing their minds about Trump.”
While we’re at it, I’m also trying to teach myself to avoid the elitist effect. “I know what’s good for you, so sit still and keep quiet so I can explain it to you.” These words do not have to be spoken for the message to get through. Body language, impatience, and tone of voice will suffice.
When that is the temptation, here’s a rule that often works. Before blurting out your own brilliant explanation of things, ask at least five questions. Five is the magic number. The first three come easily. Getting to five can be work, but if you can get there, the chances are good that the conversation will move from us vs. them to a better exploration of possibilities.
I asked a friend who is a brilliant shrink whether it’s a waste of time to talk to a hard-core Trumpie – you know, everyone’s crazy bad news uncle. I wish I’d known his answer decades ago. “Test to see whether they are able to entertain an alternative hypothesis,” he said. If they can, maybe it’s worth trying to see if you can find any common ground. If not, walk away.”
When crazies campaign door to door and come to you, don’t slam the door on them. Make them spend 15 minutes explaining everything to you. That’s 15 minutes they won’t have to reach a voter with whom they have a better chance. And you might learn something, too.
Is it too late to save the world? Just do what you can do. Millions of others will too.
Given the way time and gravity have stacked the numbers against us in rural America, let’s not waste valuable thoughts and prayers hoping to find a silver bullet. Things will change one conversation at a time.
Remember that the story they hear most often is the one they’re most likely to believe. When truth and logic don’t work, repetition usually does.